© 2018 by The Dougy Center            503.775.5683

TEENS

"My friends mostly don't know

what's going on with me" 

~ Janelle, age 13

 

"Why did this happen to me? To my family?"

~ Almost every grieving teen ever​​

When someone dies, our whole world can radically change. Some teens describe it as a hurricane or a tornado, taking out everything in its path. You're left to pick up the pieces and figure out what life will be like without that person. Who will you be? How will your family react? What will you remember? What will you miss? There are no expectations for how you should think or feel - grief can be intense and loud or quiet and barely there. Some teens aren't sure what they feel. It's all okay.

 

How people grieve might look different depending on their age, where they grew up, cultural expectations (maybe your parents and Tías expect you to act a certain way, but it’s not how you feel), religion/spirituality, gender norms (family members expecting you to cry or not cry depending on your gender), and what your family expects or needs from you in terms of helping with chores and caring for other people. You might see families in movies or on TV shows grieving very differently than yours, and start to wonder “Are we doing it wrong?” Remembering that various cultures, generations, families, and even neighborhoods have different ideas about the “right” way to grieve, might help with feeling okay with your own grief experience

 

So what can you do to live with grief?  8 things you can do right now

 

On this page, you'll find activities, podcast episodes, and videos to check out. They can be intense, so it's a good idea to keep anything that helps you feel comfortable close at hand. If you feel overwhelmed, please reach out to a trusted adult or the Crisis Text Line (text CONNECT to 741741). 

Recording Resilience - Short films by grieving teens

A devoted daughter, 17-year-old Kamarie, explores how she wished she could fix her father’s cancer and how in the end, he was the one to fix her.

Madeleine’s brother Finn drowned when he was in middle school. Finn was a warm-hearted, eager boy with a wide smile who could cheer up his sister, no matter what.

Activities from Deconstruction/Reconstruction - The Dougy Center's Teen Journal 

A favorite day we had...

The adults in my life...

When I heard the news

What helps

Weird things people say

Podcast episodes - for when listening feels easier than doing or reading 

Ep. 41: Grieving an Overdose Death - A Teen's Perspective

Liam was just starting middle school when his brother died of an overdose. 

 

Ep. 50: Grieving the Death of a Best Friend as a Teen 
The summer before they were supposed to start high school, Debbie's best friend died.

 

Ep. 88: What's Changed for Grieving Children? The 1960's
Tony was 14 when his father died suddenly, changing his entire world

 

Ep. 90: What I Needed - Tips from a Grieving Teen

Halfway through her junior year, Lily's father died of a heart attack. 

 

 

TDC Podcast Logo_Grief Birds_blue_1400px

Other Resources

SLAP'D - Surviving Life After a Parent Dies
Hello Grief

YA Books About Grief (LGBTQ, Culturally Diverse)

@theimaginarylibrary - Instagram account about grief

 

 

 

Make a plan for hard days at school -

we all have them!
(click here)